Death . . . The Final Exam

I asked you guys to pray for Amanda yesterday. I wish I could tell you how she and her family are doing after their loss. To be honest with you guys, I have no idea how to handle this situation. I feel so hopeless! I want so badly to call her, comfort her, let her cry and scream to me on the phone. I want most of all to walk through her door, embrace her, let her cry on my shoulder, and then wipe away her tears. BUT I CAN'T!!

It was a new side of Amanda that I was exposed to last night, her grieving side. I'd never "seen" her cry before (I guess I still haven't since she was crying on the phone). Do you guys know how helpless of a feeling it is to hear the girl you care the world about hurting and not be able to do a thing about it? AAAAAHHHHHH! Even though it doesn't seem like enough, I will continue to lay my requests before God. I think God is teaching me that I can't humanly handle everything that I go through. I have to rely on His sovereignty and providence, especially when there is absolutely nothing I can do. So I know that somehow, through my prayers for her, God will comfort her heart and convey to her that I am carring for her and that I'm here for her.

My cousin died last semester and I began pondering some things about life and death. This incident with Amanda's cousin has re-awoken some of these thoughts and questions in my own mind. The biggest question that I've struggled with is how do we as Christians handle death? Death is such a final thing. That's the reason death is such a scary thing to think or talk about in our society - a taboo. There have only been a few cases of people crossing over into death and then coming back to this life; all of these had been brought back by the supernatural (Jesus). Check out the story of Lazarus in John 11. Even Jesus wept when he saw how Mary and Martha were pained over the death of their brother. Death is a scary and sad thing to think about, and Jesus is the only one who can conquer death.

I had a scary thought the other day. My dad was supposed to meet us over in Waleska, GA for the double-header on Sat. He called me well before the game while he was on his way, but by the end of the first game he still had not shown up. I was freaked out! A billion thoughts raced in my mind. Did he get in a wreck? Is he in the hospital? Is he dead? What do I do? Thankfully my dad showed up in time for the second game (he had just been caught in serious traffic in Atlanta), but for those few moments I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't imagine my life without my dad! Even the thought of death is a scary thing!

As Christians we have the assurance that neither this life nor the grave is our final resting place (THANK GOD!). In fact Jesus is preparing a mansion for us in heaven and is looking forward to the day that we finally get to be with Him forever. My buddies and I often sit around and talk about what heaven is going to be like. Imagine the best house you have ever seen on MTV Cribs and it doesn't even compare to what Jesus has waiting for each of us! We have this one guy on our team that asked me if Jesus would make him a grill (mouth bling) when he gets to heaven. I thought that was hilarious, but it's awesome that he was looking forward to heaven! The point is that as Christians, we cannot even fathom how good heaven is going to be! No tears, no pain, no stress, no death, no fatigue - nothing but basking in God's perfect presence forever! How awesome!

However, the last thing somebody wants to hear when they've lost a loved one is the ill-coined cliché: "He's in a better place." "That's awesome, but how does that help this pain that I'm feeling? The point is that he's not here right now and I'll never see him in this lifetime again! I just miss him!" These are NATURAL reactions to the cliché funeral comment. So what can we do to console someone who is in pain over a death of a loved one? Be there for them. Love on them. Hold them if they want to be held, and back off if they don't feel like being around anyone. Be there to just listen to them. I'm glad that I was at a loss of words when Amanda was telling me about her cousin. She was extremely upset and she didn't NEED my words because frankly NOTHING I could say would help. After anything I could have said the pain would still be there. The only one who can heal that pain is Jesus, and all I can do is point her to Him! What did I do? I was a sound-board for her to bounce her pain and confusion off of and then I PRAYED WITH HER. That did more, I'm sure, than anything else I could have done! And I'm continuing to pray for her.

So what about death for non-Christians? Not a pretty sight! The Bible talks about a place of ETERNAL DAMNATION called Hell. We'll talk about Hell some more another time, but the point of it is ETERNAL SEPARATION FROM GOD! You think this world is bad. Imagine the world with all of God's grace, restraints, and presence taken from it; imagine a place where Satan has free reign to do whatever he wants. UTTER CHAOS! This is why it is so important for us as Christians to tell people about the hope offered in Jesus Christ. What if on judgment day the friends you hung out with on earth passed by you one-by-one on their way to Hell? What if they looked into your eyes and asked you why you never shared with them the secret to eternal life? The Bible says Ezekiel that we are the Watchmen for all mankind and if we don't tell other people about the forgiveness offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, then their blood is on our hands; we are responsible for their eternal destination! That's heavy! That among other things is what has motivated me to tell all my friends about how much Jesus wants a relationship with all of us.

If you guys have any suggestions of what I should do in helping Amanda cope with this death, feel free to comment. I've sent her a couple cards and letters, letting her know how much I care and that I'm here for her. I guess nothing I do will feel like enough. Stay in prayer for the baseball team, too. Let's go to war on our knees together!