Monday, February 12, 2007

What are we living for?

It's interesting. I found out today that things that used to be important to me are not longer that important. I used to be all about making the grade. I had to perform at my best so that I would make the grade. I found out today that I was docked two letter grades for an inappropriate remark I made in a homily that I preached for my preaching class. Now, normally I would be at my wit's end over that penalization, but right now it just didn't seem like that big of a deal. Maybe I'm being insensitive and maybe I'll be disciplined by the Spirit later about it, but right now I see more important things in my life.

I sat at dinner tonight talking to some of the guys on the team. We weren't really talking about anything significant, just shooting the breeze. I began to feel the tug of my rational side saying, "Davey, you really need to go to the library to do some work." But I just couldn't find the motivation to leave the conversation and go to the library right then. I began to feel guilty that maybe I was losing my motivation for school work (which may be true). But I realized in that moment that everything I'm studying right now is preparing me for what I'm already doing. I can simulate teaching people from scripture, and caring for their needs, and running the business of the church, and debating philosophies of ministry, but that does absolutely nothing compared to getting my hands dirty in ministry right here, right now.

If I live for the grade, or for the fleeting feeling of affirmmation from a professor or a colleague, then I've failed my calling, because all of that will fade away. II Corinthians 5:1 says, "Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands . . . So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it." The things that will have eternal value in my life are consuming much of my time right now, and I don't think that is a bad thing. (Disclaimer - I did go to library eventually tonight, and I got a bunch of work done - just in case you're reading this, mom.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't know if Mom read it, but Dad did. All he had to say was (a) Proud of ya and (b) balance.